Introduction: Chesed which Flows from the Source of the Jewish Soul
What characteristic could be defined as a singularly Jewish trait? The Gemara in Mesechta Yevamos (Daf 79a) states that Dovid Hamelech said, “There are three defining characteristics of this (Jewish) nation: They are merciful, exhibit shame and perform acts of kindness.” Yet, we know that much kindness (Chesed) is also conducted by the other nations?
Rav Matisyahu Salomon (henceforth: “Rav Matisyahu”) explains that there are two types of Chesed: Ordinary Chesed, and a special type of “Chesed which flows from the source of the Jewish soul.” What is the meaning of “Chesed which flows from the source of the Jewish soul?” Rav Matisyahu explains: “I am driven to help my friend because of our close familial (“שאר בשר”) kinship, whereby his distress adversely affects me as if I am suffering from the same pain. I save my friend because his pain is so unbearable for me and thus, I feel that I am saving myself.” In other words, I perform this act of Chesed not merely because I see someone who lacks something or because my emotions are aroused by his pitiful plight. Rather, his unmet need is transformed into my own need and his difficult plight hurts me as if I stand in his metaphorical “shoes” enduring all the pain that he now suffers. Since I vicariously experience his suffering, therefore, when I help him, I feel as if I am rescuing myself from that distress.
Rav Eytan Feiner explains that when Dovid HaMelech said in Tehillim (91:15), “עמו אנכי בצרה” – “I am with him in (his) distress” – it denotes that Hashem, kavayachol (so to speak), feels our suffering with the same intensity that we experience it. Despite Hashem’s exalted state, with regard to the Jewish people’s suffering, He, kavayachol, puts himself on the very same plane as us, experiencing every last morsel of our suffering. Hashem is with us during each step we take through darkness.
Rav Yechezkel Levenstein explains when Hashem created man in His Divine image (b’Tzelem Elokim), he endowed us with the ability to access a portion of His capacity to share another’s feelings. Thus, we were given the ability to transcend our human limitations and vicariously experience our fellow Jew’s pain or joy, as if we are living through the very events which affects him or her. Therefore, Rav Feiner says, it is within our capacity to authentically say to our fellow Jew, “עמו אנכי בצרה” – “I am with you in your distress” – if you are in pain, so am I. It does not matter where you are or what “type” of Jew you are. There are no barriers between your heart and mine; we are on the same level.
This type of empathy, whereby one person feels another person’s pain or joy as if experiencing it himself, is described in Pirkei Avos as the ma’alah (virtue) of Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro, carrying (i.e., sharing) a fellow’s burden. What gives us the ability to have such profound empathy? In Sefer Tomer Devorah, Rebbi Moshe Cordovero explains: “All Jews are close familial relations (“שאר בשר”) with another because our souls are combined together … Our fellow’s pain should cause us anguish as if we experienced the same pain ourselves. Likewise, our fellow’s good fortune should gladden us as if we experienced the same good fortune ourselves.”
In Dearer Than Life – Making your life more meaningful, Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD, writes: “The Jerusalem Talmud states that a person should not seek revenge against someone who had harmed or offended him, any more than if one had injured his left hand, he would hit it with his right hand as punishment for having caused him pain … The soul is part of G-d Himself, and G-d is absolute unity. Therefore, all souls are essentially one. We are separate and distinct beings [only] by virtue of our physical bodies … To the extent that we minimize the importance of the body relative to the soul and give the soul primacy, to that extent we are one, and can feel for another the way we feel for ourselves.”
By viewing all Jews as part of a unified entity, it would be impossible to take revenge against my fellow Jew just as it is impossible to take revenge against myself. The Torah is hereby teaching us that, on the level of the soul, we are truly one and the same as our fellow Jew. This unity, in turn, gives us the capacity to experience another Jew’s feelings of pain or joy on a sensorial level. Just as all bodily organs are impacted by a serious assault to any organ of the same body, we are spiritually “wired” to share each other’s feelings (Rebbe Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev).
The Midrash states that the Jews who left Egypt made a covenant that they would perform acts of kindness (Gemillas Chessed) with each other. Why does performing Chesed require creating a covenant?
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Dr. Avi Lasdun attended Telshe Yeshiva in Wickliffe Ohio, graduated with a bachelors in Biology from Touro College in 1985 and a Ph.D. in Biomedical Sciences from City University of New York in 1990. Avi worked for over twenty years in the pharmaceutical industry as a scientist. He is currently adapting scientific analytical and writing skills gained during his career to help develop Torah teaching tools that he hopes will activate a fuller array of intellectual and emotional capacities to enable a more holistic learning experience for students.
OlamiResources.com welcomes the submission of educational materials to assist educators in their teaching. We are greatly appreciative to Dr. Avi Lasdun for investing the time to prepare and share the Teacher’s Guide and Kuntres on “Nosei B’ol Im Chaveiro” for the OLAMI / OlamiResources.com community. The Teacher’s Guide presents the key elements contained within the Kuntres in a condensed, bullet-point format.
Please kindly dedicate the מִצְוָה of לִימוּד תוֹרָה of the Kuntres in memory of:
לעילוי נשמת הרב ישראל יוסף אליהו בן ר׳ טוביה הלוי זצ״ל
Rabbi Yosef Lasdun, zt”l
לעילוי נשמת הרב ראובן צבי זצ”ל בן הרב מנחם יצחק הי”ו
Rabbi Reuven Bauman, zt”l
Please kindly dedicate the מִצְוָה of לִימוּד תוֹרָה of the Teacher’s Guide in memory of:
לעלוי נשמת מורינו הרב מאיר בן החבר ר׳ יהודה, זללה״ה
Rabbi Dr. Meir Fulda, זצ״ל
Note: The Teacher’s Guide and Kuntres are not intended as sources of practical halachic (legal) rulings. For matters of halachah (practical details of Jewish law), please consult a qualified posek (rabbi).