Even though our hearts pulsate with a desire to love and connect to another, many of us may have lost faith in love, because it has failed to expand us. And often, we have become embittered, and therefore hesitant to commit. We sense that we already know what’s in store for us.

Every relationship you’re ever going to be in is going to fail – until one doesn’t.

So while it stinks to be single on Valentine’s Day, and while it stinks worse to have been dumped right before Valentine’s Day, try to look on the bright side: Your most recent failed relationship was obviously doomed – even if it wasn’t obvious to you – but now you’re free to enter into a new relationship. And that relationship, your next relationship, could be the one that doesn’t fail.

But what should you do in the meantime? While you’re still reeling from the pain of your recent breakup?

…Pour your heart out to a few patient, indulgent friends who are under orders to nod sympathetically no matter how unhinged you sound.

Wallow in your misery – lean into it, even – for two weeks.

Then knock it off.

Get out of your apartment. Go places, do things, see stuff. Go to the gym, take a walk in the park… Hang out with the same friends who are now under orders not to listen to you talk about your breakup – it’s their turn to talk about their lives, it’s your turn to listen. And if you’re still reeling from the pain of the breakup? Pretend to be happy. Fake it. Because acting like you’ve got it together can actually help you get it together. (Dan Savage, “How Should a Person Handle a Heartbreak?” www.nytimes.com, February 13, 2015)

In the first shiur in the Am I Ready to Find My Soul Mate series, Discovering Your Infinite Self, we introduced the idea that each person is created with a soul, the essence of the persona. The second class, Gratifying Your Deepest Desires further developed this concept. We learned, the better one understands the soul’s expressions and desires, the more in tune one will be to the idea of building a soul connection with one’s marriage partner.

In the third shiur, The Search for Eternal Love we will see that there are two types of love, one that unites two individuals, intrinsically expanding their consciousness and identity, and a counterfeit love, which may at first feel as if it is achieving these goals, but ultimately will neither expand nor unify the couple. We will also strive to understand why we all want love, the soul-root of this drive, and how it can flourish within the parameters of a Jewish marriage.

As such, we will seek to answer the following questions:

  • In our pursuit of love, are we energized, actualizing our potential, or do we find ourselves running into dead ends?
  • How can we distinguish between love and lust?
  • If we were to follow a spiritual path to love, would this expand us?
  • What deeper “soul need” drives us to get involved in relationships?
  • How does a real relationship based on love satisfy our deeper spiritual needs?
  • What are the parameters of true love?

Click here to download the third class on: Am I Ready to Find My Soul Mate III – The Search for Eternal Love

See the Teacher’s Guide to the Am I Ready to Find My Soul Mate Series



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